My Story, Part 1
It was spring. We were moving to our new home in two weeks. Excitement filled the air. As a family, we had hoped to live on some property for a long time and in just two weeks, we would be living in a home on a beautiful plot of over five acres of land. Boy was I dreaming of gardens and fruit trees and laying hens and happy, dirty children!
I woke to my six month old baby crying and quickly realized that my husband had already left for work and I had overslept. I planned to go get my chubby baby boy and nurse him but my first attempt to lift my head off of the pillow was strangely unsuccessful. My neck! I could hardly move it at all. Tiny, jerky, motions were all that I could muster. It was painful. Finally able to sit up, I placed my feet on the floor to stand up. Another surprise! I gasped aloud as I quickly found out that my neck was not the only thing not working properly. Several of my joints were large and painfully inflamed. Trying to lift my baby from his cradle hurt too. My hands! Something was wrong. I started to panic.
I called my husband, who offered to come home from work, but instead I just made an appointment with my doctor and waited. What more could be done? Of course, I frantically searched the internet for clues on what could be wrong and discovering more with every waking moment how much of my life depended on the joints of my body working properly.
In the weeks that I waited to be seen by my doctor, and the months that it took of testing before I was diagnosed, I got worse. Now I could no longer unbuckle my children's car seats, squeeze my own shampoo bottle, open my canned goods, or walk without limping painfully. My whole body ached and I was exhausted from normal activities. Then the night sweats came. I tried to drink only organic bone broth, thinking my gut was compromised and causing the pain. I nearly fainted from the exhaustion of sickness and fasting. My husband insisted that I eat plainly and wait prayerfully.
We moved. With more help from friends and family then I was comfortable receiving. But here we were, finally on property. Property that I could not walk the perimeter of let alone plant a garden on!
I sat in our family room one evening after everyone else had fallen asleep. And I prayed fervently. Not for healing, but for grace. I reminded God how bad I was at handling trials well. I had a history of doubting, discouragement, and a lack of faith and I did not want this to be the same story. I had walked through a few other hard things. Enough to know that God had always been faithful and provided all that I needed and more. So I just pleaded that this time I would not dishonor Him with my lack of trust in Him.
I wish I could say that discouragement never took root.
But I can say, that as a rule, my heart trusted and hoped in the Lord.
Our God hears us when we pray.
My history was one of doubt, shame, blame and fear.
But my mighty God spread His shadow over me and in this trial I found His abundant grace.
So wherever you find yourself, pray to your God!
He will answer when we call to Him.
I woke to my six month old baby crying and quickly realized that my husband had already left for work and I had overslept. I planned to go get my chubby baby boy and nurse him but my first attempt to lift my head off of the pillow was strangely unsuccessful. My neck! I could hardly move it at all. Tiny, jerky, motions were all that I could muster. It was painful. Finally able to sit up, I placed my feet on the floor to stand up. Another surprise! I gasped aloud as I quickly found out that my neck was not the only thing not working properly. Several of my joints were large and painfully inflamed. Trying to lift my baby from his cradle hurt too. My hands! Something was wrong. I started to panic.
I called my husband, who offered to come home from work, but instead I just made an appointment with my doctor and waited. What more could be done? Of course, I frantically searched the internet for clues on what could be wrong and discovering more with every waking moment how much of my life depended on the joints of my body working properly.
In the weeks that I waited to be seen by my doctor, and the months that it took of testing before I was diagnosed, I got worse. Now I could no longer unbuckle my children's car seats, squeeze my own shampoo bottle, open my canned goods, or walk without limping painfully. My whole body ached and I was exhausted from normal activities. Then the night sweats came. I tried to drink only organic bone broth, thinking my gut was compromised and causing the pain. I nearly fainted from the exhaustion of sickness and fasting. My husband insisted that I eat plainly and wait prayerfully.
We moved. With more help from friends and family then I was comfortable receiving. But here we were, finally on property. Property that I could not walk the perimeter of let alone plant a garden on!
I sat in our family room one evening after everyone else had fallen asleep. And I prayed fervently. Not for healing, but for grace. I reminded God how bad I was at handling trials well. I had a history of doubting, discouragement, and a lack of faith and I did not want this to be the same story. I had walked through a few other hard things. Enough to know that God had always been faithful and provided all that I needed and more. So I just pleaded that this time I would not dishonor Him with my lack of trust in Him.
I wish I could say that discouragement never took root.
But I can say, that as a rule, my heart trusted and hoped in the Lord.
Our God hears us when we pray.
My history was one of doubt, shame, blame and fear.
But my mighty God spread His shadow over me and in this trial I found His abundant grace.
So wherever you find yourself, pray to your God!
He will answer when we call to Him.
Four of our children, just weeks before my illness began. They were 6, 5, 4 and 2 years old.
My baby boy!
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